3258. Dearest Muffy © Bruce Goodman 6 July 2025

It had taken Mia all day to draft the letter. In fact she had been drafting it in her head for several weeks. At last she had the courage to begin typing it on her computer. She was determined. She would print the letter and post it before she changed her mind. But she had to get the letter right; it had to be kind yet firm. And she had to mail it; an email or a text didn’t feel right. “Dearest Bruno” she began. No. “Dearest” gave the wrong impression. “Dear Bruno” was more impersonal, more abstract. Even though his name was Bruno she had always called him “Muffy”. She could hardly begin with “Dear Muffy”. Besides, once again it would give the wrong impression. “I have decided to terminate our relationship. It’s driving me nuts.” No, no, no. “Terminating a relationship” sounds like an insect spray for termites or a weed killer for kikuyu grass. “Our relationship is over” would be better. And “It’s driving me nuts” is just plain silly. All afternoon Mia worked on her letter – word by word, sentence by sentence. The evening began to draw in. She had to finish. Done! All that needed doing now was to print and post. She pressed the print button. The printer was out of ink. She would write it out by hand. Her phone rang. It was Bruno. “Mia, I’ve decided to terminate our relationship. It’s driving me nuts.” “Oh Muffy!” said Mia. “But why? Oh Muffy! That’s awful.” Oh Muffy. Dearest Muffy. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story